paris and larry

Oh good lord, she's on Larry King.
"Why did you decide to come on this show"
"Cause, uh, I really like and respect you... I respect what you do..."
...
Then she describes lunches, visitor hours, the orange jumpsuit she wore, and the inmate bonding experience, showers... well, almost. It would be worth the pain if she did that.

You would think jail was a brand new invention, to listen to this crap.

Maybe next she'll get interviewed while she learns to wipe her butt.

"So tell me, was it a slow learning curve or did you pick it up really quick?"
"Well, I made a mess at first, but then I figured where my asshole was and that I needed to wipe there, like, uh, right over it, not just around it."
"How long does it take you to wipe your ass?"
"At first it look a long time, like, uh, almost an hour, and even then it wasn't totally, like, perfect, but now it's like less than a few minutes."


Terrible.


In other news, the state RR went alright. A massive break went the first time up Briggs hill, when all the pro's sprinted from the bottom all the way up. After that, it pretty much settled out, and after 3 laps there were a series of stragglers up in no-man's land trying to get something away, and the big break 12 minutes up the road. Right after the start of lap 4 (of 5), I attacked at the top of welder's hill, and after a few minutes bridged up to three guys up the road, we began catching people and soon there were 7 of us working well, rolling away, riding hard. We had, I would guess, 2-3 minutes on the pack at one point. Then Rubicon decided to pull it back and we got caught right at the base of Briggs for the last time up, 6 miles or less from the end. The writing was all over the wall and my race was done, so I pretty much pulled the plug, there wasn't a lot. Cruised in for a slow finish. Right at the 1k mark my left calf siezed up in a massive cramp, so I did a few hundred meters pedalling with my right leg only, then stretched it enough that I could cross the line.

Good times. I felt strong. Raced my bike. And it was much more interesting that sitting around waiting to sprint for middle of the pack.