Sunday, February 10, 2008

Delphic Future

I have it. I have established a landmark which will mark the official end of the fixed gear hipster bike-accessory movement.

It's all about the pants. The root of the hipster movement lies not in the bikes, the haircut, or the uniform dull colors (unless it's pink) which are de rigeur for a trendy messenger look-alike. No, the root of the movement lies in the pants.

Low cut women's capris have defined the movement since the early days. Only the biggest, baddest fixed gear hipsters dared to pull on full on capri's - many have dared the tapered legs or stretch fit women's jeans, but the heart and soul lies in the capris. To date, the defining piece of legwear has been either a) said hipsters' sister's discarded duds or b) the clearance rack special from sears. Yes, the battle to have the tallest hub flanges, the shortest bar, the least brakes, the most steel fork, and the oldest, nastiest saddle has been fought to a standstill. Any hipster looking to make a name for himself is moving to the next front in the battle to be more alternative than anyone else: the threads.

Hence my prediction: the end will be nigh when the fixster trades the Sears clearance rack for the seasonal sale at Ann Taylor.

When you see the change from this:
to these:

That's right, when the hipster switches from the Sears clearance rack to Ann Taylor for his size 6 capri's, then the Pista's and Langsters and taped-up Nishiki's will be sold for cash to aquire latest fashions for any WASP golf meet. yes, we may even see the next step in the evolution of hip: the retirement of the flat canvas sketchers for a set of these

And if you see this show up at the local McMennamin's on anything bearing a Y chromosome, then I'll tell you what, RUN.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008


Well, Frosty died a violent and painful death at the hand of some freezing rain last week, and the white stuff turned to brown sludge all over town before retreating to the hills.

Bummer, dude.

The warmer climes meant a 15 1/2 hr week for me, culminating in a 9hr weekend. Saturday I took the fixed 44x16 (with 2 brakes) over Fox Hollow then around the Cottage Grove loop with some teammates, and the legs are knackered. Sunday I avoided the hyper-commercial Rugby-ripoff game playing on the boob tube and sat in Full City for a while pretending to be an intellectual by speed reading the Sunday NYTimes Magazine - and thus there are some gaps in my weekend culture assimilation.

One advantage to FC's 13th / High St location is the multitude of traffic that rolls by on it's way to various downtown destinations, UO campus being high on the list. I hadn't realized quite how many fixed gears there were in Eugene. Guys, gals, various rigs, and nary a helmet. Some had brakes. Some didn't. I witnessed one particular champ, chopped blonde mowhawk and all, completely fail to stop at the light despite straining with all his might against the momentum, and bail by skipping up on the sidewalks and proceeding to roll southward, against his obvious direction. Not three minutes later he nonchalantly rolled back the way he came and hit back on his original track down 13th. Way to go, champ. Street shoes and loose toe clips might not be your best bet for this application. Oh, and get a brake, lest you wind up a hood ornament and make one more driver a cyclist's bane. But still, thanks for the entertainment.