Sunday, February 10, 2008

Delphic Future

I have it. I have established a landmark which will mark the official end of the fixed gear hipster bike-accessory movement.

It's all about the pants. The root of the hipster movement lies not in the bikes, the haircut, or the uniform dull colors (unless it's pink) which are de rigeur for a trendy messenger look-alike. No, the root of the movement lies in the pants.

Low cut women's capris have defined the movement since the early days. Only the biggest, baddest fixed gear hipsters dared to pull on full on capri's - many have dared the tapered legs or stretch fit women's jeans, but the heart and soul lies in the capris. To date, the defining piece of legwear has been either a) said hipsters' sister's discarded duds or b) the clearance rack special from sears. Yes, the battle to have the tallest hub flanges, the shortest bar, the least brakes, the most steel fork, and the oldest, nastiest saddle has been fought to a standstill. Any hipster looking to make a name for himself is moving to the next front in the battle to be more alternative than anyone else: the threads.

Hence my prediction: the end will be nigh when the fixster trades the Sears clearance rack for the seasonal sale at Ann Taylor.

When you see the change from this:
to these:

That's right, when the hipster switches from the Sears clearance rack to Ann Taylor for his size 6 capri's, then the Pista's and Langsters and taped-up Nishiki's will be sold for cash to aquire latest fashions for any WASP golf meet. yes, we may even see the next step in the evolution of hip: the retirement of the flat canvas sketchers for a set of these

And if you see this show up at the local McMennamin's on anything bearing a Y chromosome, then I'll tell you what, RUN.

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