Thursday, November 20, 2008

channeling Hunter S. Thompson

Good Habaneros come on slow. In the first minute, nothing. The second minute is spent cursing the creep who burned you. And then… ZAM.

I approached the hot-pepper eating challenge with a simple strategy: peel the peppers into pieces, eat the outsides first, then down all the seeds in one go. And move fast. In no time, I was looking at an empty plate while the other fools all took the peppers bite by bite. I waited. All was looking good.

And then, it hit me. Not the burn - my mouth and taste buds are scorched from years of hot foods - but the sudden sting of pepper in the gut. A hot sensation behind my ears. A small cloud of confusion settling over my head as the peppers rushed through my system and a puffy sensation took over. My ears were filled with a buzzing noise. My hands began to vibrate violently. I looked at them, and they appeared normal, but my senses told me otherwise. The buzzing in my head melded with the shaking in my hands and suddenly I felt my whole body was hanging from a live high-voltage wire.

This was becoming grotesque.

Elizabeth Estes downed a fourth pepper to overtake me in the challenge, and I knew I was done. There was no chance of operating my fingers to open another one and besides, I did not want to become the first known Habanero overdose case at Sacred Heart.

Luckily, the intense pepper high is short lived. Quick consumption of some serious carbs in the form of Miriam's white rice quickly put things straight, although every fluid erupting from my body still brought on a burning sensation.

For a cheap thrill, it turns out that you just can't beat hot peppers. But the consequences promise to be dire, so I still wouldn't recommend it. Get your kicks elsewhere unless you're just twisted and desperate enough not to care.

I am quietly dreading tomorrow.


kennett said...

I want to try it now. I blame you for anything that might happen to me. Or my shorts.

Robert said...

Yikes !!! My gut hurts just reading about it.

The man from Cessy

Miriam. said...

The only question I have is why?